8 March 1923 - 2 December 2020
We are sad to report that the matriarch of the family, Felicity Griffin, died peacefully on Wednesday 2 December at Tregolls Manor Care Home in Truro, at the tender age of 97.
We are all formed by our early lives, our education and our
home lives. Felicity Grace Griffin (née
Dobson) – ‘Joy’ to her family - was no exception.
Felicity was the daughter of a gentle, witty, high-church country
Rector and a degreed teacher, whose own father had taken her out onto street
corners as a child to seek converts to Primitive Methodism. Much of Felicity’s
youth was spent in a large and rambling Rectory in the tiny village of
Huntingfield in rural Suffolk. Christianity and a life of service were thus ingrained
in her.
Her best playmates were her two brothers, Patrick and Michael. Despite her
mother’s degree and teaching qualification, she took an unconventional approach
to her own children’s education, initially home-schooling them before later
sending them to local independent schools.
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WAAF Driver Dobson
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Felicity’s education was curtailed by the outbreak of war
when she was only 16. As soon as she was able to, she joined the WAAF as a
driver, fetching and delivering officers and bomber crews all over East Anglia;
many never returned.
Marriage came in 1946 when Paul Griffin, a schoolmate of her brothers, returned from his army
service in the Far East, and a daughter, Angela, followed soon afterwards. When
Paul went up to Cambridge to do his degree, they found lodgings in a tiny
ramshackle converted storehouse and Felicity settled down for the major career
of her life: service to Paul and her family.
Paul went to Uppingham as a young English teacher where they were
joined by a second child, Jonathan. Both children were promptly very ill which
challenged the young family and Felicity in particular.
The biggest adventure of her life came when they travelled
to Cyprus where Paul became the Headmaster of the large English School during
the period of EOKA terrorism. She had never travelled overseas before. The
political situation limited what she could do but she managed to provide a
secure home and happy upbringing for her children. She also found time to
become the Brownie Commissioner for the island.
This was an era when a headmaster’s wife was regarded as
free labour to support her husband, much as her mother’s life had been devoted
to caring for the Rector. Both in Cyprus and latterly at Aldenham in
Hertfordshire, Felicity threw herself into the task of being a headmaster’s
wife, entertaining, steering and advising as needed. The domestic management
skills learned in the Old Rectory came to the fore but at the price of close
personal friendships which were precluded by her role and lack of free time.
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Felicity and Paul in retirement in Southwold
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Paul’s retirement from teaching led to a period running a
language school in Cambridge before they settled in Southwold where they
finally managed to establish their own group of local friends.
Felicity was a committed and excellent historian with a
natural flair for the subject and would probably have studied it further if
circumstances had been different. When in Cambridge for the second time, she qualified
as a blue badge guide and enjoyed taking groups of tourists around the city,
explaining the curious history of the colleges, kings and religious fights with
the ease of an expert. She later organised and led historical tours around
England and Wales.
Her work for her childhood church of Huntingfield was
remarkable. When they returned to Suffolk, she set about raising money for the
church in which she had worshipped as a child successfully getting grants and
donations to repair the tower, roof and wonderful painted ceiling. Her
research on Mildred Holland, the artist of the ceiling, was exemplary and has
contributed to the church being ‘noticed’ far and wide.
She was fond of remarking that her guidebook to the church
had sold more copies than any of Paul’s books of poetry or novels which showed
that you did not necessarily have to have an education to be successful.
She also had a flair for interior and exterior design,
creating and re-modelling several houses and gardens and was renowned as a
great cook and hostess.
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Angela, Felicity and Jonathan on tour |
One big regret of her life was the limited opportunity for
the use of her voice and acting ability. She had a lovely mellow speaking voice
which she had used to good effect in tannoy announcements during the war. She
toyed with applying to the BBC as an announcer but married life intruded and
she contented herself with reading lessons in church and occasional play and
poetry readings. This was not an age when married women had careers: service
was her priority.
No mention of Felicity would be complete without a nod at the
various dogs (and one goat) that were her loyal companions through life. Bonny
in Uppingham; Honey who elected to join the family in Cyprus and Dinny who
arrived at Aldenham. All adored her and will be fighting for attention and a
walk when they see her again.
It was typical of Felicity’s attitude to service that, after the death of Paul, she watched over her young brother, Mike, then also
nearing his end. It was not until he had died that she felt her work was done -
her two brothers and husband no longer needed her – and she moved to Truro to
be close to some of her family. From here, she kept an eye on her young Dobson relations,
standing in for their missing parents and grandparents. She also received a
warm welcome from the cathedral community, never missing an opportunity to
remind them of the unwisdom of women priests.
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An angel in St Mary's church bearing the Huntingfield arms (Courtesy of David Gentleman)
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Two epitaphs come to mind. Christopher Wren’s ‘
If you
would seek his monument, look around you’ seems apt, for Huntingfield
church will be watching over her in rest in ‘Dobson corner’ alongside her
parents, husband and young brother.
Or George Herbert’s wonderful line ‘Who sweeps a room as
for Thy laws, makes that and th' action fine’. This combines her Christian
faith and sense of service as she was famous in the family for her ability to
keep an exceptionally clean and tidy house.
In life, she broke several family records: the oldest member of the family ever (that we have yet found), and the oldest of three 'Mrs Griffins' (there have never before been three in a direct line).
We remember with thanks a loving wife, devoted mother (to 2),
grandmother (to 5), great-grandmother (to 8), aunt (to 6), great-aunt (to 14),
great-great-aunt … a great cook and homemaker (her fruit cakes were legendary).
Jonathan Griffin, December2020